Meds meds meds.

Day 1 of Citalopram.

Today I had to face reality, without meds my head becomes a panicky blur and life becomes impossible for me, and those around me. I seriously try, quite often, to get of them. This, to the dismay of my family and friends, since they are the ones receiving my midnight panic calls telling them this time it is real, I am going to die.

My last medication (Zoloft) never worked properly, so now introducing: Citalopram. Another lovely SSRI that will make me shiver in my boots for the next two weeks. After which, maybe, everything will be better.

Since I know how these meds make you feel the for the first two weeks I had to fight an inner battle before actually opening the bottle. This stuff comes in drops and it seemed to take forever to get two drops on a spoon. The apothecary had assured me that I could take it without water so I did. And fucking hell, that stuff is so foul it launched me into a full-blown Panic Attack. Called the doctor who assured me that I cannot have an allergic reaction, or die, but that nausea, dizziness and headaches are normal for the first two weeks….

Now, I am hanging on to the couch for dear life, only 13 days to go.