And then it got silent for a while. Quite a long while. My excuses are a few disappointing happenings. Here I was, going through life thinking, hey I’m doing so much better, these anti-depressants are working. Ok, I still freak out over some weird stuff but I have it under control. Sort of… Full swagger…Read More
They tell you a lot of things when you are pregnant. How breastfeeding is the best way to feed the baby, forgetting to tell you how incredibly painful it can be. How this is the most beautiful time of your life, while your relationship is slowly dying and you sit there, patiently listening, with bra…Read More
Inevitably everyone who suffers from an anxiety disorder will end up in therapy at some stage, so it will come as no surprise that I had my fair share of couch time. Except for never really being offered a couch to lay down on, I have been through it all. The endless digging into my…Read More
It is not easy to be the friend or partner of someone with an anxiety disorder. Relationships are hard at the best of times but if you are my friend or partner, chances are things get a bit crazy when I am at my best, and quite frustrating when I am at my worst. It…Read More
Anxiety can be super embarrassing, like two years ago when I had my first anxiety attack in seven years at work of all places. I was in a meeting that I ran out of because I thought I was going to die and didn’t want to do it in front of everyone (seems to be…Read More
I think I have mentioned my love for alcohol before, or my fond memories of drinking all night long. I also happen to love functioning alcoholics. I think most of my friends fall in that category if you take that seven (was it seven?) intakes a week thing seriously. Until very recently I was happily…Read More
After some Staycationing and some Couchcationing my time off is coming to an end. Tomorrow it is back to work time, and I am a bit nervous about it. At least I was until the perfect thing happened yesterday, the Tour de France started. For the next three weeks, I am covered. For as long…Read More
As mentioned in a previous blog I was planning to go on vacation. I was very adamant that I was going to face my fears, push my boundaries, go into the wild, etc. etc. Well, I didn’t. There were multiple contributing factors to my cowardice but the fact remains that I stayed right here in…Read More
This Thursday I will be turning 38 and for the first time since I turned 31 I mind getting older. For some reason 38 seems ancient to me. A giant leap closer towards wrinkles, creaky bones and the point of no return. A sort of this is it feeling. I will forever be this anxious,…Read More
It is that time of the year again.. Vacation time! Where shall we go? Who with? Train, Plane, Automobile? What should be a relaxing time is a little hellish for me at the best of times. I am feeling better, but I have always found vacation quite a stressful ordeal. I am a nest builder,…Read More
Last week it happened. I felt better. My feet were dry for a whole day and it did not feel like the ground would swallow me whole if I got off the couch. When leading an office life this means it’s time to go back to work…Read More
I made it!
I actually came through the first hellish 14 days of anti-depressants. And I am feeling great! Not. But maybe a bit better.
About those 14 days….Read More
Day 1 of Citalopram.
Today I had to face reality, without meds my head becomes a panicky blur and life becomes impossible for me, and those around me.Read More
I had my first Anxiety Attack when I was 19.
Me and my then boyfriend, let’s call him E., were going on a camping trip to the South of France. This was our first vacation together, and we were excited…Read More
People have called me Drama for as long as I can remember.
As a kid, because I cried too much. As a teenager, because..Read More