No Filter.

Scrolling through Instagram and looking at footage of people with actual cartoon eyes and bunny ears seriously telling me what their day was like.. is just scary really. Yes, I have used filters over time, I mean, I like to look pretty. I will admit to that. I also like to look and act like…

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That Rain.Shine Life.

You know that Rain-Shine feeling? Where one minute you’re prancing around happily like a Unicorned My Little Pony and the next you want to crawl under the covers and cry or scream, or both.. A bit like the weather in Amsterdam right now. Now I am not the most stable person at the best of…

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Gettin’ back in the Saddle

Know that feeling of life passing you by? I know I sound like an old fart right now but that is what the last months felt like. Life just floating by, me, a hesitant participant. Just enough energy to work and make sure my friends know that I am alive and love them. As long…

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Alcohol. Missing that Social Lube.

Alcohol has been on my mind a lot for the last year or more. It might even be about a year ago that I had my last drink. Funnily enough (super funny right..), I didn’t even choose not to. Out of the blue I was just too scared of the effects of alcohol to take a…

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a Milli a Milli a Milli a Milligram or 60..

I am gonna jump straight into those next steps I was talking about in my last post. Because these doctors did not give me much time to breathe and accept the whole newness of the OCD diagnosis. Nope, they went into action mode. First, I got a 10-minute call to tell me that before starting…

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The Diagnosis

After a long pause during which I kept telling people I am super busy. Which is true but I can’t stand people who constantly say how busy they are. Anyway, after this “busy period” I think it is time for an update on the state I am in. Remember that 6-month long waiting-list I was…

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Anxiety and the City.

I did not grow up in a City but by now I have been living in Cities for more years then I spent in the countryside. 20 years to be exact, oh yes, I’m old!  Now, I can’t help but wonder: How healthy it is for people like me, to live in the City? Amsterdam…

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On being 38 and turning 39.

This week I am turning 39. Yes, It’s my Birthday this Friday. As a proper grown up I am supposed to scoff at that and think it unimportant. But hey! I am not a proper grown up. Birthdays always give me the feeling of starting anew, or at the least with a slightly less mucky…

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Mammaaaaa, mamma, mamma, mamma, mamma, mamma, Mother!!!!!

Of course, “they” told me about the terrible two’s and yes it was a bit of a challenge, but now, at three and a half, the throw downs me and the Kid are having are of epic proportions. So, hereby some purging on the love of my life and the most demanding little persona to…

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So many Epiphanies, so little Change.

The other day me and B. were braving strong gales in order to have a coffee in the sunshine. B. is probably my most “out there” friend who struggles through life by my side and has the uncanny ability to throw truths in my face when I am least ready to receive them. Pretty good…

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One Year in. The mushy mushy look back Blog.

Almost a year ago I posted my first Blog. The idea to start writing again actually came from my sisters who thought that having an outlet for all my insanity might be good for me. In the beginning I hesitated of course, I mean, I am probably the trillionth mom to start a blog about…

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