That Rain.Shine Life.

You know that Rain-Shine feeling? Where one minute you’re prancing around happily like a Unicorned My Little Pony and the next you want to crawl under the covers and cry or scream, or both.. A bit like the weather in Amsterdam right now. Now I am not the most stable person at the best of…

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Self-Pity is a persistent Bitch.

If there is something I find almost appalling in others, it is self-pity and nagging. I always see myself as the “come on, lets solve this problem” kind of person (basically I am a man). Wallowing is something I hate.. in others of course. Because, I myself must admit that in the past and especially…

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Gettin’ back in the Saddle

Know that feeling of life passing you by? I know I sound like an old fart right now but that is what the last months felt like. Life just floating by, me, a hesitant participant. Just enough energy to work and make sure my friends know that I am alive and love them. As long…

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Alcohol. Missing that Social Lube.

Alcohol has been on my mind a lot for the last year or more. It might even be about a year ago that I had my last drink. Funnily enough (super funny right..), I didn’t even choose not to. Out of the blue I was just too scared of the effects of alcohol to take a…

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a Milli a Milli a Milli a Milligram or 60..

I am gonna jump straight into those next steps I was talking about in my last post. Because these doctors did not give me much time to breathe and accept the whole newness of the OCD diagnosis. Nope, they went into action mode. First, I got a 10-minute call to tell me that before starting…

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The Diagnosis

After a long pause during which I kept telling people I am super busy. Which is true but I can’t stand people who constantly say how busy they are. Anyway, after this “busy period” I think it is time for an update on the state I am in. Remember that 6-month long waiting-list I was…

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Therapy part 4: That Mental Health Institution Shuffle.

A few posts ago I wrote about gettin’ the boot from my therapist and being referred to “specialist care”. I know, I also thought I was in specialist care already, but apparently not. Anyway, the 84-day waiting list and then some has come to an end and I finally got the call! The call that…

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One Year in. The mushy mushy look back Blog.

Almost a year ago I posted my first Blog. The idea to start writing again actually came from my sisters who thought that having an outlet for all my insanity might be good for me. In the beginning I hesitated of course, I mean, I am probably the trillionth mom to start a blog about…

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That Spring Mood-Swing..

For some reason this is the hardest Blog I wrote for a long time. Not because it is a particularly difficult topic for me, or a very dramatic one but because I find it extremely hard to explain what happens to my muddled Self during Spring. Last year around this time I started this Blog…

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Therapy Part 3. Gettin’ the Boot!

Warning up top: This Blog has become more negative then intended. Plus seriously, how often can the subject of Peanut Butter come up.. Apologies in advance.  It happened, I wore out my Therapist! Or at least, she cannot help me anymore is what I am told. It is a strange story that is quite common…

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New Year’s Intentions.

After hyperventilating myself through Christmas and hibernating through the lull before New Year’s Eve I actually dragged myself to a party for the happy occasion and promptly made it to bed at 00:05. I was there to see it happen though, 2018 is finally here! 2017 was quite a year, a year that kicked my…

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The call of the Womb.

In the spirit of Christmas and Mary’s immaculate conception I thought I would spend some time writing about this magical womb of ours (ladies) and the hormones that seem to rule our lives. Yes Guys, you can stop reading now. Although, you never know, you might learn something. Plus, to be honest, our hormones rule…

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Meds day 179. Memories..

I have been popping pills for 179 days. Make no mistake, before that I also used an extraordinary amount of Oxazepam (tranquillisers). It is probably about more than a year ago that I did not need, or at least, take any pills. But since I started taking Citalopram I have had exactly 179 in varying…

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Got the Skinnies.

Losing weight is mostly seen as a good thing. The skinnier the better! And I must admit, I am like that as well, I love being skinny. After my pregnancy, I complained for two years about my belly, thighs, legs and three chins. Well not anymore, I am skinnier then ever and it is starting…

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The Vacation, or, the Insect bite that caused the house of cards to collapse.

And then it got silent for a while. Quite a long while. My excuses are a few disappointing happenings. Here I was, going through life thinking, hey I’m doing so much better, these anti-depressants are working. Ok, I still freak out over some weird stuff but I have it under control. Sort of…  Full swagger…

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