New Year’s Eve.

Today is the 1st of December. The jolliest month of the year has started and so has the nightmare of figuring out with whom and how to spend these days. Christmas is usually quite easy, you hop from friends to family to friends, eat too much, watch All you need is Love and eventually pass…

Read More

When the floodgates open.

I have always wanted to be a pretty crier. Since I do so much of it, that only seems fair. One of those girls who can casually let tears roll down their alabaster skin, no redness, weird mouth action or just plain face meltdown. All waterproof all the time. Unfortunately, I am not that, I…

Read More

Exposus Maximus.

Without any prompting from my therapist I decided last weekend to be uber-brave and go see a show in Utrecht. My friends are in the country and since I have avoided going to see them play for quite some time I thought I should just go for it. Anxiety be damned! I had the whole…

Read More

Therapy Part 2, the Drinking challenge.

You know that moment your therapist tells you to start drinking every day? No? Me neither, because it is insane! Until it happened to me and I followed orders. Sort of. First of all, I’ve got a “new” therapist. The “old” one was pregnant and had to go on leave, so me and all my…

Read More

The Kid’s Birthday and the Aftermath.

They tell you a lot of things when you are pregnant. How breastfeeding is the best way to feed the baby, forgetting to tell you how incredibly painful it can be. How this is the most beautiful time of your life, while your relationship is slowly dying and you sit there, patiently listening, with bra…

Read More

On the Joys of being my Friend

It is not easy to be the friend or partner of someone with an anxiety disorder. Relationships are hard at the best of times but if you are my friend or partner, chances are things get a bit crazy when I am at my best, and quite frustrating when I am at my worst. It…

Read More