Anxiety and the City.

I did not grow up in a City but by now I have been living in Cities for more years then I spent in the countryside. 20 years to be exact, oh yes, I’m old!  Now, I can’t help but wonder: How healthy it is for people like me, to live in the City? Amsterdam…

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Therapy part 4: That Mental Health Institution Shuffle.

A few posts ago I wrote about gettin’ the boot from my therapist and being referred to “specialist care”. I know, I also thought I was in specialist care already, but apparently not. Anyway, the 84-day waiting list and then some has come to an end and I finally got the call! The call that…

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So many Epiphanies, so little Change.

The other day me and B. were braving strong gales in order to have a coffee in the sunshine. B. is probably my most “out there” friend who struggles through life by my side and has the uncanny ability to throw truths in my face when I am least ready to receive them. Pretty good…

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One Year in. The mushy mushy look back Blog.

Almost a year ago I posted my first Blog. The idea to start writing again actually came from my sisters who thought that having an outlet for all my insanity might be good for me. In the beginning I hesitated of course, I mean, I am probably the trillionth mom to start a blog about…

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Long time no Blog, or, Meh!

Today my sister asked me if I was still writing and I had to admit that I did not know what to write. Not because nothing happened, I mean, you know, I lead a happening Life! No, because I have no progress or regression to report. Just ongoing Meh… So, apologies in advance, this Blog…

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On Entertaining the Kid and the Horror of the child “friendly” cafe.

Another weekend, another planning session on what activities to do with the Kid in full swing. You see, the Kid is a city dweller and does not have a garden to go crazy in. Like most parents in the city I need to take him out raging to get rid of some of the obnoxious…

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Friday night.

I’ve threatened to write a blog about Friday Nights for a long time. They are just not what they used to be. Right now, it is 19:10 on a Friday night. I am on the couch keeping one eye on the television where a “Midsomer Murders” (no I am not kidding) is doing its thing.…

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Mama Day.

Yes, he is the best thing that ever happened to me. Yes, I love him more than I have ever loved anything or anyone else. But for fuck sake this child rearing business is not as easy as people make it out to be. I think I must have been spared the terrible two’s since…

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When the floodgates open.

I have always wanted to be a pretty crier. Since I do so much of it, that only seems fair. One of those girls who can casually let tears roll down their alabaster skin, no redness, weird mouth action or just plain face meltdown. All waterproof all the time. Unfortunately, I am not that, I…

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The Vacation, or, the Insect bite that caused the house of cards to collapse.

And then it got silent for a while. Quite a long while. My excuses are a few disappointing happenings. Here I was, going through life thinking, hey I’m doing so much better, these anti-depressants are working. Ok, I still freak out over some weird stuff but I have it under control. Sort of…  Full swagger…

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On the Joys of being my Friend

It is not easy to be the friend or partner of someone with an anxiety disorder. Relationships are hard at the best of times but if you are my friend or partner, chances are things get a bit crazy when I am at my best, and quite frustrating when I am at my worst. It…

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Bit of a Rant.

Anxiety can be super embarrassing, like two years ago when I had my first anxiety attack in seven years at work of all places. I was in a meeting that I ran out of because I thought I was going to die and didn’t want to do it in front of everyone (seems to be…

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One Rosé with Ice please

I think I have mentioned my love for alcohol before, or my fond memories of drinking all night long. I also happen to love functioning alcoholics. I think most of my friends fall in that category if you take that seven (was it seven?) intakes a week thing seriously. Until very recently I was happily…

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Le Tour de France; My Doping of choice

After some Staycationing and some Couchcationing my time off is coming to an end. Tomorrow it is back to work time, and I am a bit nervous about it. At least I was until the perfect thing happened yesterday, the Tour de France started. For the next three weeks, I am covered. For as long…

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On being 37 and turning 38

This Thursday I will be turning 38 and for the first time since I turned 31 I mind getting older. For some reason 38 seems ancient to me. A giant leap closer towards wrinkles, creaky bones and the point of no return. A sort of this is it feeling. I will forever be this anxious,…

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